If Love is our Superpower what is our Kryptonite?
I was convinced, for a time, that if love was our superpower then grief was our kryptonite. It felt like grief weakened me. It was grief that kept me from eating, sleeping, and serving people. Grief that physically made my chest ache, like I had been shot clean through. Grief that made me feel like I was dying on the inside.
When my sister spoke at my husband’s funeral she said that grief was still love but that it just changed shape. Grief was a manifestation of our love for the one lost, a love that has sorrow from separation. But in this way, grief is not kryptonite. It might have weakened me for a time, but it strengthened my love.
As I understand it, grief is love made deeper by the longing and missing of people. I know that Jesus suffered so that we need not suffer, but if we’re commanded to love, and grief is love, it will never go away. We will bear it until the end of our lives and then beyond, until Jesus comes again with our people. Only then, when we’re reunited with our loved ones, will our grief, through grace and mercy, return to pure love. In understanding love, we must accept the truth that for this part of life, our love comes grief.
In His infinite mercy God placed the veil so we would forget. It spares us the sadness that we would carry with us everyday on Earth because we missed God and missed our heavenly home. We would see His hand in every creation, we would remember what Heaven was like, and I can only imagine how much harder it would be to walk the lonely roads of life with that kind of knowledge of the angels above. It’s hard enough to make that journey after losing my husband. But in my pondering I’ve realized that God feels grief too. Because He loves us, and we’re not with Him, He must feel that grief about me and about you.
The real kryptonite of love, can only be its opposite. Hate. Nothing sucks our superpower from us as fast as hate. I’ve had ample opportunities and justifiable excuses to be angry for my situation. I could be angry with the other driver in the accident, angry towards people who were “just trying to help”, angry towards insurance companies and busy police officers and even angry with God. But I know that it would do nothing but cripple me if I chose to be angry.
So I take comfort in knowing that while Joseph is gone, grief won’t rob me of my love. Over time, and by a conscious choice to leave my hurt at the feet of the Savior, my grief will continue to deepen my love and I will be stronger because of it.
Photo Credit: k.richter
